Random Journal Entries on Grace and More

Hello, I don't blog often since writing can be a long process. I also get overly concerned with grammar, how things sound, and whether or not my point is clearly being made. I keep so many thoughts in my head and a few in my journal. I thought it would be nice to share a few of them. So below are some of my journal entries and reflections where I explore grace, temptation, and repentance. Half of it is just me writing down scriptures. If you would like to discuss anything further please let me know. Enjoy.

Romans 2:4 Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?"

KJV ", not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?"

Romans 3:20 "For by works of the law no human being will be justified in his sight, since through the law come knowledge of sin."

Will be justified: to show to be righteous, declare righteous, I make righteous, defend the cause of, justify (this is probably from Bible Hub)

The law will continually show you have you fall short. Therefore, you will never be shown to be righteous under a law that you cannot fully obey. So....

We are, "justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus." vs. 24

"It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus." vs. 26

[God The Justifier]

Hallelujah!!

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Words of Satan in red and Jesus's response is in black. This is from Jesus being tempted after fasting for 40 days and 40 nights.

If you are the son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread

It is written, man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God

If you are the son of God, throw yourself down for it is written; He will command his angels concerning you and on their hands they will bear you up lest you strike your foot against a stone.

Again it is written, 'you shall not put the Lord your God to the test.'

All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me

Be gone, Satan! For it is written, 'you shall worship the Lord your God and him only shall you serve.'

There was the temptation for Jesus to receive a false exhalation; to take glory away from God and place it on himself. Jesus always brought it back to his father. The exhalation he would have received would be less than what he would have received after the work of the cross. This exhalation would also take less time, less pain, less closeness to the "least of these."

Take away: Glory belongs to the father. Do not settle for a lesser version of what God promised you.

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Love yourself if you care about justice

- Advocate for myself that I might advocate for my neighbor

- Trust myself that I may trust my neighbor

- Take care of myself that I may take care of my neighbor

-Stand up for myself that I may stand up for my neighbor

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Below is a text I sent to my cousin.

"And you know... in our attempt to not abuse grace we find ourselves back in the place of understanding why its there and necessary."

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All my life I've been pretty hard on myself. This journey of learning to speak up and living without fear has reminded me of that truth. I've been frustrated with my failures of not speaking up at certain times and just overall tired with having so many opportunities to speak up. But my frustrations have lead me to a better understanding of the meaning of grace and understanding what it means to live for God. This understanding of course can be applied to other areas of my life. Being hard on myself constantly shows me that I think my good deeds or doing a good job is doing God a favor or making him look good. Yeeaaahhhh right. 

I want to do a good job in life period. I want to please God. And if I don't do well I'm hard on myself. Some days I fail at this speaking up thing and lies have crept into my mind. "You ain't ever gonna get this right. How can God use you? You need to do better." So this is where grace comes in. First off, I'm only "good" because of the one who makes me good. No matter how well I think I may be doing in life I will still be in need of grace. I'm still in need of God. I still need to rely on the Holy Spirit. Becoming more mature in Christ is not working yourself to a place of being independent of Him but realizing the magnitude of grace in comparison to your high amount of "cain't get right." That's comforting. 

Therefore, in living for God, I'm realizing it's more about direction than perfection. I try to work my way to perfection but then get discouraged in wrong doing or when I fall short. But living for God is more about keeping your gaze on Him and constantly chasing after Him. In that chase you will fall, you will mess up, you will cry, you will want to give up. But your direction must remain on "The Author and FINISHER of our faith." I believe that's why we read scriptures like, "SEEK first the Kingdom", "run with endurance the race set before us, LOOKING to Jesus", "Before him there was no king like him, who TURNED to the Lord with all his heart and with all his soul and with all his might." With God as your direction, end goal, helper in the race... I can breathe a bit easier. 

Road Closed

A couple of Friday's ago we did an activity that required us to grab an image that depicted how we felt at the current moment about Mission Year. Initially I did not see an image that I wanted to use but then I saw the above picture. What caught my attention was the juxtaposition of the road, flood waters, and the boat. Although the road was there, it's evident that it is no longer useful due to (temporary) flood waters. On the right, there is a group of people who have stopped moving due to the water.

How this all relates to my current situation

Mission Year is not designed for us to do life as normal. Just about every aspect of my life has changed. And for a week or 2 I truly felt uncomfortable, sometimes frustrated and tired because of how different life had become. I found myself living for the weekend and going into survival mode where I was just doing what I could to get through the day. For me this is a dangerous place to be because when I look forward to the weekend, the next day, or the next thing I don't fully take advantage of what's in front of me. I was surviving but not thriving.

All types of things will come into my life, by choice or not by choice, that will not allow me to do life as normal. When this happens I have 2 options, 1. I can sit there and wait until this new thing is gone or over, think about myself and how challenging things may be (waste of time and no room for growth) or 2. learn how to thrive in my new situation (allow the discomfort and frustration to take me to a deeper understanding of Christ and help me to better understand my neighbor that I may also love them better).

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This image also made me think of thankfulness. May we not miss the opportunity to thank God. Although the flood waters are there don't forget to thank God for the boat. Thank God that someone is on the boat with you. Thank God for your life.

In the midst of what may be going on in your life, what can you thank God for?

Generosity and Proximity

- "Go ahead and get on the bus! I got it!" These were the words of a man who saw Treshana and I struggling with our grocery cart that may have been close to 50 pounds.The man proceeded to pick up our cart and place it in a position so that it would not roll while the bus was moving. When it was time for us to get off the bus, he made sure that Treshana and I got off with ease.

- A woman walks on the bus with 2 children in a stroller and one child in hand. While she was trying to get her money to pay, a man who was sitting in the front of the bus paid for her bus fare and moved so that the woman would have space for her stroller and children. Once she got off the bus, another stranger grabbed the older child so that the mother could wheel her stroller off of the bus.

- "Man, you just blessed my life!" The young man just received a $10 giftcard to Subway from a random woman on the bus. As the young man and his friend exited the bus, the generous woman said "Y'all be good and stay safe."



It truly doesn't take much to make someone else's life a little bit easier or a little bit better. I've seen so much generosity I began to wonder why people are so quick to help one another, so quick to give. The best answer I could come up with is proximity.The givers were close. Those who were on the giving end were not outsiders who "felt bad" for the people struggling.  They were very much having the same experience as the one's they were seeking to help. The givers were relying on public transportation, lived in the same neighborhoods, trying to take it one day at a time. I would imagine the givers saying to themselves, "Let me do what I can because I know. I know that struggle. I've been there before myself." Because of that perspective, stepping up to help someone was easy and done without hesitation.

What The Word Say?

"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

Philippians 2: 3 - 11

Jesus was the ultimate example of what it looked like to "be close." God came to earth in the form of a man to live as the one's he sought to save. But why is it important that God came in the likeness of man? Well there are possibly many answers to that question but for the purposes of this blog I'll give one answer. Better yet, I'll just give a scripture.

"Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery. For surely it is not angels that he helps, but he helps the offspring of Abraham. Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted."

Hebrews 2: 14 - 18

Moral of the story: it makes a difference when you are close. So get close.

Carry On Saints

Daniel 6: 6 -10 
6 Then these high officials and satraps came by agreement to the king and said to him, “O King Darius, live forever! 7 All the high officials of the kingdom, the prefects and the satraps, the counselors and the governors are agreed that the king should establish an ordinance and enforce an injunction, that whoever makes petition to any god or man for thirty days, except to you, O king, shall be cast into the den of lions. 8 Now, O king, establish the injunction and sign the document, so that it cannot be changed, according to the law of the Medes and the Persians, which cannot be revoked.” 9 Therefore King Darius signed the document and injunction.

10 When Daniel knew that the document had been signed, he went to his house where he had windows in his upper chamber open toward Jerusalem. He got down on his knees three times a day and prayed and gave thanks before his God, as he had done previously.

I would like to thank God for His word which is alive and active. I am blessed that we can read His word and something new will present itself each time. In reading this familiar passage last Wednesday during Bible study God allowed me to see something new. 

Daniel's behavior during this time of great pressure is to be admired. We often praise Daniel for his boldness in the face of adversity. I was also encouraged by how Daniel heard the new decree that was set in place and went about his business...as usual. I believe that Daniel gave us a model to follow when presented with opposition in the form of government statutes and maybe even culture. He did not try to demand that the decree be destroyed or that another decree be created to replace it. He remained faithful to what he knew to do. 

New laws are created with the hope of removing God from daily life. This can be frustrating for some who grew up with the God of the Bible being woven into every part of daily life, voluntarily and involuntarily. I understand the frustration. We know God to be the best thing that has happened to us and we want the world to know and to also have the same revelation! So how do we respond as the Church? We carry on and continue business as usual! 

We keep praying

We keep reading the word of God

We keep sharing the Gospel 

We continue to love our neighbor as Jesus taught

We continue to die to ourselves daily

We maintain our hope in the resurrected Savior! 

I wonder if David even broke a sweat when he learned that he was not allowed, by law, to pray to his God. 

But why was David able to carry on? 

He actually knew and believed that God was real.

Notice how a decree had to be made in order for King Darius to be glorified. David knew that God was God with or without a decree. God does not need man to make Him God. He is God all by himself! I believe that some of us respond to opposition in a way to make God real. However, I believe that He would prefer us to carry on and let Him be God!

Be encouraged saints for Jesus is alive!

Book recommendation: i am n: Inspiring Stories of Christians Facing Islamic Extremists
Song recommendation: You Hold It All (Live) by Travis Ryan
Picture description: This photo was taken at the end of the Billy Graham Library tour (which I highly recommend). I love this photo and it seemed to fit with this blog. 

That's Love: Reflections on the Legacy Conference 2016

Hello Blogging World!

I've been gone for so long. Like 2 years long. But I'm baaaaaacccckkkk! I was thinking about what my first post should be about. I had all these topics going around in my head like union with Christ, the power of prayer, and more. I may write about those things at a later date but for now I would like to share some stories from the Legacy Conference.

What is the Legacy Conference, Stephanie? Glad you asked. Legacy Conference takes place in Chicago and focuses on urban missions/discipleship. But I would check out the website for more details. http://www.legacydisciple.org/about/mission/

The conference was amazing and I loved every part of it. However, what I want to share through this post has more to do with the people than the actual teaching I received while there.

The main theme for the Chicago trip and the Legacy Conference was John 13:34 -35 "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."

Here are 4 stories where I was able to be the benefactor of someone doing what Jesus told them to do: love.

1. Get On Da Bus

Imani and I arrived to Chicago about 7 hours before our dorm room would be available. This meant we would explore Chicago while we waited. We rode in a car, a plane, a train, a boat, and a bus on that first day. When we were done exploring Chicago we charged our phones for a bit at Union Station. We had to get on one more bus to get to our room. By this time my ankles were like, "C'mon Step. You doing too much." Anyway, another man was at the charging station with us. He overheard us trying to figure out where we needed to go. Jokingly we said we would walk all the way to Moody's campus from Union Station. He chimed in and asked us what we were in town for and asked if we needed some help. We told him we were here for Legacy and that we were trying to get on some bus. He turned out to be a minister who just returned from Las Vegas doing some outreach.

Long story short, he began pouring so much wisdom into Imani and I and he also shared a bit of his testimony with us. But he did more than just share about God's goodness in his life. He helped us two country girls. He walked us to our bus stop, which was different from the stop that was on our smart phones. Not only that, he waited with us until the bus came to make sure that we got on the right bus and that we were safe. We waited for over 20 minutes and it was hot! Had we not ran into him, we would probably still be looking for that bus stop or we would have paid too much for an Uber. I was so blessed by that exchange. It's in those moments that I see God caring about every detail of my life.

2. Rain Rain Go Away... Or At Least Wait A Second

This was Saturday after Legacy Fest and a storm was a'brewing. The sky looked like it was about to bust open. A group of us were waiting on shuttles to take us back to the dorms. It was no telling how long the shuttles would be. I was thinking about where I would go if the rain started. I was going to run to the train station to at least get some cover. But a friend I met last year showed back up to the event and he asked if we needed a ride back to the dorms. Thank you, Lord! We got in the car before the rain started. But sure enough, within minutes, the rain came. My next thought was how Imani and I were going to get food once we got to the dorm. I did not want to have to call a delivery person in that weather. But my friend offered to take us to get food too! Another burden was lifted!

3. The Good Mints

I was out of gum and decided to buy some more from the (overpriced) vending machine instead of walking to the convenient store. I ran into this girl I met last year. We talked a bit then I told her I was downstairs to get some gum out of the machine. She said, "Oh, I have some mints." And I told her I needed enough to last me until I landed in Charlotte, NC. She was like, "Here, you can have this whole pack." And home girl pulled out a new box of Altoids! Those are some good mints and I collect the containers for a yet to be discovered reason. She probably thought I was overreacting because I was standing there like, "Awww man, thank you, like for real."

4. Whoa.

This was the final day of Legacy and once again Imani and I had time to kill. We were gonna repeat some of what we did when we first arrived to Chicago. But I and my bank account truly wanted to just chill at someones home until it was time for us to go to the airport. We were headed to Union Station when we learned that two other girls, who had a late flight, were going to the home of Brian and Heidi Dye (Brian Dye is the one who started the Legacy Conference).  Imani asked Heidi if we could go to their home. She said yes without hesitation. I thought it was going to be a small group of us. But it was about 30+ people (who did not already live there) in their home. I was thankful to just be in their home. I have been following the ministry of Brian and Heidi Dye and truly admire what they do. Then to now be in their home was blowing my mind. But once again I started thinking about food. We were thinking that we would leave for the airport a little early so that we could eat. But after a few short minutes Heidi comes in and says, "Brian brought pizza. It's in the back. There are drinks too." Sayyyy whatttt? They not only let 30+ strangers in their home... They also fed these strangers. Once again I was truly blessed!

After everyone ate they began organizing rides to airports and train stations. Some of us hung around and sat on the front porch talking and eating popsicles like it was our home. Eventually it was time for Imani and I to leave. We got our ride to the train station and only spent $3 to get to the airport.

That was a lot. But as I was typing this I began to wonder what would happen if we all did our part as the Church. What if every need that anyone had, big or small, could be met by the Church who acted out of obedience to Go? Kinda sounds like the Church in Acts 2. Anyway, that's another post.

But I was and still am truly grateful for the love that was extended to Imani and I while in Chicago.

Thank you.